A better-than-average email doing the rounds...
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish - 49
Adventurous - Slept with everyone
Athletic - No tits
Average looking - Ugly
Beautiful - Pathological liar
Contagious Smile - Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure - On medication
Feminist - Fat
Free spirit - Junkie
Friendship first - Former very *friendly* person
Fun - Annoying
New Age - Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded - Desperate
Outgoing - Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate - Sloppy drunk
Professional - Bitch
Voluptuous - Very Fat
Large frame - Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate - Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?
MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay
And finally.....
A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.
However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.
THE ABOVE IS FOR A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND A WOMAN WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR !!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Hey Adrian, posting or linking anything from my site to yours is entirely fine by me - I've set all of the permissions to allow as much access as possible other than allowing others to post on the site. In terms of "My Gang" and the rides I have actually taken to joining "Don's Gang" where the level of abilities are very mixed and varied. As is always the case my ride philosophy is to ride hard during certain stretches, particularly hills and then wait for everyone to regoup at the top. Sometimes people get a little intimidated if they hear Sam or I are riding because they think we go too fast but the truth is we always wait for the slowest rider - no one is ever left behind! The real key is the distance people should never fear the speed so long as they are suyre they can manage the distance - if they can then come join us - the more the merrier. If they can't then plan to join us but cut off some of the mileage. On another note you and I should really exchange email addresses at some point!
Dude...how are you right now? When will be your next race?
Post a Comment